


One in a Million

by freezethebeez



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, literally just them hugging for 3k words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freezethebeez/pseuds/freezethebeez
Summary: Kei's standards are high, maybe a little too high, and his own inner-critic gets the better of him. Thankfully, Tobio is there to help.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 4
Kudos: 86





	One in a Million

**Author's Note:**

> oh god uhhh so this fic is a bit of a mess. the idea popped into my head out of no where and i somehow managed to sit down and write the whole thing in one sitting. it's not my best fic, admittedly, and probably won't get read by a whole bunch of people because tsukikage content just isn't all that popular. but, alas, here we are, 3k words of tuskikage just standing there hugging. needless to say i may have self-projected onto them a little too much here but ehhhh we can ignore that. 
> 
> that's all i really have to say about this fic... enjoy :)

Dwelling on the past seemed to be one of Kei’s specialties, amongst few others. Whether it be something that happened years ago, months ago, weeks ago, days ago, or- in this case- mere minutes ago. 

Karasuno had just beat Shiratorizawa in a painfully long match against them, having worked their way up in the Spring High Preliminary tournament, beating team after team, even Seijho who’d been decent challengers as well. 

It was over now, Shiratorizawa had lost and Karasuno would be going to Nationals. 

Both teams had been given half an hour to rest, maybe wash up a little before the awards ceremony began. Most of Karasuno had decided to lay around on the sidelines, grabbing a snack, stretching, and drinking water. Kei, however, had decided to make his way to the restrooms. He didn’t actually have to go, but he did need to get somewhere private as soon as possible. 

Even though his team ended up winning, and that Kei had been considered the MVP of the game by coach Ukai, he still couldn’t help but feel shitty. Ukai had called him the MVP for blocking one of Ushijima’s spikes. One. He’d only been able to stop one, and although Kei wasn’t one to get so emotional over these types of things, the little voice inside his head that was predominantly negative decided to be a little louder than the rest of his thoughts today, quickly sending him into a downward spiral, bringing him close to tears. He should be proud of himself, he _had_ been proud of himself, but as the game carried on, Kei couldn’t help but start to feel guilt. One point out of twenty-five, one point out of 242 total. That’s all Kei could score.

Kei knew his limits when it came to his emotions, and he knew he’d only be able to hold back tears for long, so instead of risking breaking in front of his teammates, he decided to make a trip to the restroom and hope that nobody else would be in there. 

Thankfully, no one else was. 

The restroom was empty, the doors to each stall being wide open, and efore Kei could even lock himself in one, the waterworks began. Tears filled his eyes overwhelmingly fast, his vision going blurry and his glasses fogging up. He didn’t bother making his way into one of the stalls after that, simply settling for leaning over the row of sinks that lined one half of the wall. 

His head hung low, Kei not even daring to look up at his reflection, already knowing exactly what he’d see. 

_A weak, pathetic loser_ … or so his mind told him. 

Realistically, he knew he’d see a rather unappealing face, his cheeks and nose turning red, brown eyes filled with tears, lashes beginning to soak and stick together, lips curled down against his own will. He wasn’t one to cry often, can’t remember the last time he cried to be perfectly honest, but he did remember the look on his face when he did, catching a glimpse of it in the reflection of a window.

Kei didn’t like the way he looked on a good day, let alone when he was crying. 

He cried silently, regardless of how empty the restroom was, palms pressed flat against the cool, metal surface the sinks were sitting in. He was angry, so very angry with himself. He _could’ve_ done better, he _knew_ he could’ve, he _had_ done better in the past so why was everything so different now? What had changed? What was he doing _wrong_? 

Those kinds of thoughts got to him the most, the ones where his own inner-critic overpowered any kind of rational thought in his mind. It was almost as if another voice was in his head, another person, one that would relentlessly degrade and criticize him until there was nothing left. It was a voice that Kei had sadly gotten used to, one that seemed to drop by more and more often now. It annoyed Kei how much he let this voice affect him, how many opportunities he’d purposely miss because he was afraid of messing up, afraid of doing something wrong that would provoke the voice in his head to speak up. He wasn’t a huge fan of spending his nights crying after all. 

His sobs didn’t get any louder, though the voice in his head did, which was probably why Kei didn’t hear the footsteps as they came down the hall, didn’t hear the door to the restroom open until it was too late. 

Kei heard the shut, a loud thump that lasered it’s way through his head, bringing his attention back to where he was, what he was doing, reminding him that he wasn’t alone. He looked up at the mirror, focusing on where the sound had come from. He tried to figure out who’d just walked in, though it was difficult with his blurry vision. The person stood still for a while, probably staring right back at Kei, though he couldn’t tell, but with the figure appearing to be rather tall, wearing a familiar black on orange jersey, a blob of black sitting atop the person’s head, Kei deduced that the person that had just walked in was none other than Kageyama Tobio. 

Of course Tobio had to be the one that walked in, _of course_. 

Why couldn’t have it been Sugawara, or Daichi? Hell, even _Tanaka_ would’ve been better. But of course it was Tobio, of course. 

Tobio was probably proud of himself, probably thought he’d played a good game, Kei thought. Tobio was probably thrilled to have won, knowing now that he’d be going to Nationals. He’d played a good game, as always. His tosses had been incredible as usual, his serves just as impressive. He’d just done _so well_. He’d scored so many points for the team, so many compared to Kei. Tobio should be the one Ukai’s congratulating, because it would at least be genuine and not some sort of act of pity. 

Tobio moved soon enough, thankfully not staring too long. It was still embarrassing though, enough to bring Kei’s tears to a momentary stop, or at least until Tobio made his way into one of the stalls. 

The negative voice inside of Kei’s head would’ve continued from there, but now Kei had much bigger issues to worry about. The issue, in question, being Kageyama.

Kei had two choices, leave the restroom and return to his teammates, or stay and wait for Tobio to leave. 

Kei weighed out the pros and cons.

He could go back to his teammates, which would surely make the present situation much less awkward, but at the same time, he knew he wouldn’t be able to gather himself in time to make it back and not still be having a complete breakdown. He could pretend, but even if he willed the voice to stop he’d still have the deal with the painful lump in his throat, and that alone- even with Kei’s fairly high pain tolerance- would be enough to make him cry. Staying in the restroom, though, meant having to face Tobio again, and Kei really, really didn’t want to do that. But, then again, staying here meant only one person would get to see him like this, one out of eleven others. 

Which, now that he considered it, didn’t sound all that bad. 

So Kei stayed, making his way over the wall to his left, leaning up against the wall near the door, facing the wall of mirrors but once again not looking, able to avoid eye-contact with himself whilst also having an easy escape if someone else walked in. 

Kei managed to bring his tears to a stop, managed to push the voice back enough to stop himself from bursting into tears again, now being in a phase in which he can calm down and prepare to face the team again. 

He did his best not to listen to Tobio do his business, Kei instead focusing on the sounds on the other side of the wall, listening for more footsteps. None came though, and before he knew it Tobio was leaving the stall and making his way over the sinks. 

Kei, wanting to avoid as much awkward accidental eye-contact as possible, removed his glasses and began to wipe them off, drying them with his jersey, though it wasn’t a huge help as the fabric itself was still a little damp with sweat. Kei put his glasses back on as Tobio dried his hands, tossing the paper towel out into the garbage can, and began making his way towards the door. Kei was starting to gain hope as he watched Tobio step closer to the door, ready to sigh in relief when Tobio would leave.

Kei’s hopes had gotten a little too high, he supposed, when Tobio stopped just before Kei. 

They weren’t facing one another, Kei’s body facing the wall to his left, Tobio’s body facing Kei directly, and it was Kei’s subconscious that told him to turn towards Tobio. The second he did, Tobio did something that Kei genuinely would’ve never expected him to. 

Before Kei could even flinch, Tobio was pulling Kei into his arms. 

Kei’s heart jumped as he felt his body press against Tobio’s, eyes going wide. Tobio hadn’t said a word, hadn’t warned him, only gave him a quick look, reached his arms out, and pulled him in. To Kei’s slight surprise, he’d noticed Tobio’s heart beating quickly, almost as fact as his own, and he realized that Tobio was probably just as nervous and weary about it as he was. 

It wasn’t as if they’d never hugged one another before, Kei and Tobio had been forced a couple of times during team puppy-piles after winning games, so being this close to Tobio wasn’t something completely foreign. What was strange to Kei, however, was Tobio being the one to initiate the hug, for him to pull him in so close and so suddenly in such a private space, and for Kei to actually sort of enjoy the embrace. He’d never admit it, not in a million years and not for a million dollars, though with his increased heart rate and steadily warming body, Kei was sure Tobio would figure out how Kei felt about the sudden hug- unless he was brain-dead when it came to human emotion as well, which wouldn’t be entirely unexpected to Kei.

“What the Hell are you doing?” Kei asked, and he really hadn’t meant to be so harsh with his words and so aggressive with his tone, but after being already so emotionally unstable, and suddenly thrown into a situation he would’ve never been prepared for, Kei resorted to his default, sassy tone. 

Tobio didn’t respond though (yet another surprise), and instead simply gave Kei a gentle squeeze, almost as if to say, _“I’m here,”_ and Kei might not be the most smart or aware when it came to emotions, but he was sure that’s what Tobio was intending. 

It was a sweet gesture, Kei would admit that, and he couldn’t help but feel oddly comforted by it. 

He didn’t know what came over him at that moment, but for whatever reason, Kei reached his own arms out and wrapped them around Tobio’s waist. He pulled Tobio in a little bit closer, let their chests press together, and Kei began to feel oddly warm, and not the kind that came from external heat, like sitting by a warm fire, but one that bloomed from within, like drinking a warm drink on a cool day and feeling the heat spread through your body. Except right now there was no drink, and there was no cold day. There was only Tobio. Tobio and his arms around Kei’s shoulders, body pressed close. 

Kei expected Tobio to let go at some point, take back his decision of deciding to even come near him in the first place. So when Tobio didn’t let go, didn’t pull away even after a socially-acceptable amount of time, Kei couldn’t help but burst into tears again. 

It started suddenly, so suddenly in fact that Tobio jumped a little, tensed slightly. Kei wasn’t loud, Tobio hadn’t expected him to be, but to feel Kei’s body start to shake so violently and so suddenly was a little shocking. Tobio could feel Kei’s tears begin to soak through his jersey, only adding to the dampness. Tobio could feel the grip around his waist getting a little tighter, Kei leaning into him a little more, the weight of his head on his shoulder growing a little heavier. 

Tobio didn’t say a word, didn’t know what he could say- what he _would_ say. He wasn’t good with emotions after all, didn’t know how to handle them himself, how to express his own emotions, and he wasn’t great with comforting people either. Instead of trying to muster up the right words to say, he decided to simply let his hands move gently across Kei’s back, fingers repeatedly tracing slow, comforting trails across Kei’s shoulders, outlining each hill of muscle and bone that poked out beneath his skin (Kei was skinny enough for Tobio to feel a good bit of his spine, being sure to keep his careful strokes gentle around those areas). 

Kei appreciated Tobio’s ministrations (yet another thing Kei would never admit), he really did, but that wasn’t all Kei was thankful for. It wasn’t as if he’d expected Tobio to start interrogating him about how he was feeling and such, but he wasn incredibly thankful that Tobio hadn’t, taking off a lot of pressure and stress of having to respond to a bunch of questions. It was almost as if Tobio’s presence alone was enough to make him feel better, which was odd because Tobio was the absolute _last_ person Kei would’ve expected to feel comforted by. 

Being vulnerable was something Kei didn’t like, was something he wasn’t used to in the slightest, so to suddenly act so weak and vulnerable around someone Kei hardly knew, someone Kei hardly talked to (in a casual, non-snarky sense, that is), was certainly a step out of his comfort-zone. He didn’t mind it though, not in the slightest, because Tobio was strong and sturdy in front of him, holding him firmly and gently at the same time, seeming to soothe Kei without intending to do so, and Kei liked it. Kei fucking _liked it_. 

Kei liked being held like this, liked being held by Tobio while he was so vulnerable, so weak. Kei liked feeling Tobio’s arms around him, so strong and toned, holding him secure and in place. Kei liked being close to Tobio, which was something he’d never considered before but now that he was thrown into this situation so suddenly, Tobio getting so close out of nowhere, Kei couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t asked for something like this sooner. 

Eventually Kei realized that the mean voice in his head subsided completely- gone back into hiding- and had now been replaced by a gentler, sweeter voice, one telling him that it was okay, that he was going to be okay because Tobio was here, not yelling at him, telling him off for scoring a single point unlike his own mind had twisted itself to believe. Tobio being here right now, in this moment, just went to show that Kei was cared for, that Tobio wasn’t upset with him, that Kei was actually accepted by someone, someone who he’d never expected to be accepted by, especially after the way he’d treated him in the past. 

Suddenly Kei wasn’t crying because he was irritated at himself anymore, rather he was crying because Tobio, someone who was typically stone-cold and intimidating, someone you wouldn’t want to get too close to, was holding him so gingerly, stroking him so gently, and it was almost as if Tobio had read Kei’s mind because Kei had been so touch-starved for so long and this was really exactly what he needed. 

It didn’t take much longer for Kei to calm down after that, his breathing returning to normal, heart rate slowing down to a healthy pace for someone just standing in place. Tobio let go shortly after, taking a small step back, keeping Kei within a close proximity still. 

Tobio looked up momentarily, meeting Kei’s eyes, red-rimmed and a little puffy, lashes sticking together, eyes still a little misty. Tobio looked away quickly, unable to hide the small, fond smile on his face. Kei felt his lips turn upwards just the smallest bit as well, also looking away, though when he looked back down at Tobio, it was as if their eyes met at the exact same time. Kei noticed how Tobio’s dark blue eyes appeared to have a soft sort of look to him, reflecting his slight smile perfectly, yet another rare sight. 

Kei couldn’t help but give a small, “Thanks.” His voice was slightly hoarse which was a little embarrassing, though it couldn’t possibly be as bad Tobio walking in on Kei crying alone in the restroom in the first place. 

Tobio didn’t respond with words, instead he simply looked away again and nodded, smile getting slightly wider. Kei could tell it wasn’t forced, and that it was one of Tobio’s rare, natural smiles, one’s that he would only ever really show during games, so to be out of a game, and to be the reason why Tobio was smiling. God, Kei felt like a fucking king. 

Tobio started to make his way over to the door, the distance being short, Kei knowing his words needed to come quickly. 

“Hey,” Kei started, stopping Tobio just as his hand grasped onto the door handle, “don’t tell anyone about this… please? I want it to stay between you and me.” 

“Okay,” Tobio replied, voice incredibly soft and so sweet sounding and Kei felt his heart jump again. 

With that, Tobio left the restroom, Kei following shortly behind, but only after waiting a few minutes, not wanting anyone to start making any assumptions or anything (also after calming down a bit more. It was the whole reason Kei had stayed longer in the first place).

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not very proud of the ending, like, at all. i think it cuts off a little too soon but it was getting late and i couldn't think of anything else to add. 
> 
> kind of funny how tobio is literally my favourite character ever and he only got one line in the whole fic. although kei didn't get a whole lot of dialogue either... oops
> 
> i hoped you liked it anyway. don't mind me just giving the tsukikage shippers (including me) what i think they need. soft, very ooc content :D


End file.
